goldenwebs:

tip for 6 year olds: dont do TOO well in elementary school, your parents will expect those 5 years of grades for the majority of your school life

131,405 notes

untexting:

do you wanna have sex?

a) please

b) now

c) a + b

212,934 notes

tomatogami:

*closes fridge door and hears stuff fall in it*

well… sounds like a problem for the next person

161,545 notes

sniffing:

Having sex in elevators is wrong on so many levels.

349,476 notes

realpartyassociate:

maddishly:

maddishly:

do people realize by not starting gay weddings with, “queerly beloved” they’re missing a really good opportunity

"queerly beloved, we are gathered here togay"

Hallelujah, gaymen.

198,831 notes