goldenwebs:

tip for 6 year olds: dont do TOO well in elementary school, your parents will expect those 5 years of grades for the majority of your school life

91,404 notes

untexting:

do you wanna have sex?

a) please

b) now

c) a + b

200,362 notes

tomatogami:

*closes fridge door and hears stuff fall in it*

well… sounds like a problem for the next person

152,360 notes

sniffing:

Having sex in elevators is wrong on so many levels.

339,159 notes

realpartyassociate:

maddishly:

maddishly:

do people realize by not starting gay weddings with, “queerly beloved” they’re missing a really good opportunity

"queerly beloved, we are gathered here togay"

Hallelujah, gaymen.

197,383 notes